That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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