I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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