who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize