Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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