i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
