right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
