I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
