he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
