I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do vagina's smell?
pop tarts are not kleenex
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
