i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
3pm strippers are depressing
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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