My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
