My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
