She announced her abortion via fbk
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
