I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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