She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize