You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
