She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
