It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
