So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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