Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
