so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
