Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
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That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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