we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He passed out mid-signature
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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