I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
