my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize