I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
