Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
