Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
