Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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