I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
