My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
