it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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