P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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