Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it penis luge time yet?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
