I smell stomach acid.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
