right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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