i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
