Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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