hell yes lets make some ravioli
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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