New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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