i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
