Too much gin, very little bucket
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I am mentally ready for anal.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
