Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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