after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
