just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
