In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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