Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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