is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
