He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
