thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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