Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I pour the whiskey from now on
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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