Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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