Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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