blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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