I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
