Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
