i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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