we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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